Bipin's SMS Jokes

During war a soldier sees 2 nuns on enemy side & says I wnt revenge & removs pants. Young nun requests PL SPARE OLDER NUN. Older nun: SHUT UP Bitch,WAR IS WAR

Mobile ko kabhi peechey ki pocket mai mat rakhna, battary fategi to Bund fatt jayegi, log haath se bund dhote hein or aap Bund se hath dho Baithogey @@@.

GRAMMAR TEACHER: PRAKASH BEER NAHI PEETA HAI". IS SENTENCE MEIN PRAKASH KYA HAI? STUDENT: MADAM PRAKASH CHUTIYA HAI."

Latest blockbuster movie SAARE ZAMEEN PAR" premier on BSE and NSE directed produced & acted by Ambani brothers. P0wer 0n Current Gone!"

GRAMMAR TEACHER: RAMESH BEER NAHI PEETA HAI". IS SENTENCE MEIN RAMESH KYA HAI? STUDENT: MADAM RAMESH CHUTIYA HAI."

Latest blockbuster movie SAARE ZAMEEN PAR" premier on BSE and NSE directed produced & acted by Ambani brothers. P0wer 0n Current Gone!"

Sardar: will u marry me? Girl: sorry im a lesbian... Sardar: wats a lesbian? Girl: I like 2 have sex only with girls... Sardar: De taali.. even im a lesbian.

I had vodka wid water.. I felt drunk.. I had whiskey n water.. I felt drunk.. I had rum n water.. I felt drunk.. I swear I wont drink water again...

Girl enters a sex shop,asks-Where are th vibrators? CLERK:Over there mam.Girl:How much for this big red one? CLERK:Sorry madam,that is a fire extinguisher

Utho aalsiyon or desh ka kuch bhala karo.. . . . . . . . . Achcha aap ho kya? sorry sorry aap to wapas so jao.usi me desh ka bhala hai :-) good morning.

Self motivation and a commitment to excel are key traits to success. Never let yesterday's regrets overshadow tomorrow's dreams. Have a great day.:-)

Santa became soldier. His Major said:Santa we are surrounded from all sides by enemies" Santa :"Excellent Sir! We can attack in any direction"."

Bus chali, Jhatka laga, 1 sardar1 ladki pe ja gira,Ladki boli:battmeej kya kar rhe ho. Sardar bola:Ji punjab UNIVERSITY se B.Com.Kar raha hu.

Two Gay Men talking: 1st: Hi sexy. Wanna have sex? 2nd: Sure. Your place or mine? 1st: YOURS! Mine is sore.. :)

Santa: What is ur opinion about women ? Banta:They all are sex objects. Santa: How come? Banta:Whenever I want to have sex, they object...!!

Working Towards Success You Will Become Master Of It, But, Working Towards Satisfaction Makes You A Legend Of It. Good morning n Have A Great Day.

Baari Barsi khattan gya c, khatt k leyandi Hello.. Je sms nai karne taan.... mobile CHITRAAN ch lai lo....

Man to his wife on her Birthday..you can have sex for 1 hour the way u want. Wife jumps kisses him & runs out saying..I'll be back in an hour

* Santa in Bangkok 2a Prost- Hw much For a Hand Job ? Prost- 500 Do U Won it ? Snta- No, I Wanted to know, Hw much I'L b Saving by doing my self. . .

Besides many reasons such as hygiene, social & erotic, there is one more interesting reason for being circumcised... Women GRAB anything with 20% off ...!

Foren return Santa to wife- main New Zealand vich mundayan nal BUNGEE jumping khoob enjoy kiti. Wife-main v pind vich mundya nal MANJI jumping khub enjoy kiti..

Laugh so hard tat even sorrow smiles at u! Live life so well tat even death loves to see u live! Fight so hard tat even fate accepts its defeat.Gudmorn :-)

Woman sitting on a park bench. Beggar: Hi darling..! Lets have some fun.. Woman angrily : How dare U! Beggar: Then What r U doing on my BED??

A SARDAR USED TO GO TO COLLEGE ALONG WITH HIS DOG A FEW YEARS LATER SARDAR GOES TO THE COLLEGE ALONE BECAUSE DOG HAD GRADUATED

Santa became soldier. His Major said:Santa we are surrounded from all sides by enemies" Santa :"Excellent Sir! We can attack in any direction"."

2 NURSES discuss their FIRST NIGHT. 1st: First WE did MOUTH to MOUTH RESPIRATION, then CARDIAC MASSAGE then CATHETERISATION. & U? 2nd: Oh! I just had an ENEMA!.

A woman to doctor my hub is never intrsd in sex". Doc-take these pills one for a day".At home she puts 1 pill in his tea and they had sex tht night next"

Gabbar:Kitne Admi the. Sambha:Srdar 2 Gb:Mujhe ginti nahi ati, 2 kitne hote hai? Smb:Srdar 2 1 ke bad ata hai. Gab:Or 2 k pehle? Smb:2 k pehle 1 ata hai. Gabbr:To beech me kon ata hai?
Samb:Bichme koi nahi ata. Gab:To fir Dono ek sath Q nahi ate? Smb:2 1 k bad hi a skta he, Qki 2 1 se bada hai. Gab:2 1 se Kitna bada hai? Samb:2 1 se 1 bada hai? Gab:agar 2 1 se 1 bada he to ek 1 se kitna bada hai? Smb:Srdar,mene apka namak khaya he.Muje Goli mardo

Wife: I went 2 the doc. 2day & he said I hv breasts of a 25 yr old." Husband: "What did he say about the 50 yr old ass?" Wife: "We didnt talk about u. at all.""

Shadi me santa bahut der se khana kha raha tha. Dusre ne pucha kab tak khaoge? Santa: main to khud kha kha ke dukhi hu par card me likha tha LUNCH: 12pm-3pm.

Women think they're Clever because they can Fake Orgasms ! Big Deal ! We Men, can fake a whole Fucking relationship... for just an orgasm.

A person tired & down bcoz of life's trials & hardships asked God Why so many mountains & hills to climb in life? God replied "For u to have a better view"

V oftn don't express our feelings 4 da fear of losing a relatnship, but da fact remains dat we loose a beautiful relatnship by nt expressing dem!!good morning

Kamvali bai ko 1din condom mila, Malkin: yeh kya hai? MALKIN Tere ghar me SEX nai karte? Bai: Karte hai par itna nai karte ki lund Ki khaal hi utar jaye.

Sardar attend a bio practical exam Exmnr :Tell the bird name by seeing leg Sardar: I dont know Examnr: U fail...Wats ur name? Sardar :See my leg n tel my name.

Height of Sexuality_ A nude woman climbing the leaning Tower of Pisa.. and the Tower becoming 'straight'...!!

Sex karo daily, agar wo mil jaye akeli,agar na mile akeli to pakad lo usaki saheli, agar n mile saheli to zindabad hatheli,but enjoy daily.....

A very old couple decided 2 do Sex. Buddhi; daal diya kya? Budha: haan daal diya. Buddhi: achha to phir AAAHH ""

ogress, the son replied- mom's dead aunt in hospital maid's pregnant my ass hurt's and dad is running naked in garden yelling tommy tommy...."

Banta: Yaar ek masla khada ho gaya hai. Santa: Yaar Itna kyon masla jo sala khada hi ho gaya
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur money or life...
A blone goes to dry cleaner & asks to have her sweater cleaned. The attendant dosen't hear her correctly & says, Come again?" Blonde blushes slightly & giggles: "Oh no its just mustard this time.""

A motorist hit a sparow He took d unconscious bird n put in cage with bread n water. Bird wakes up, looks around n screams, AILA JAIL! Gadiwala mar gaya kya?""

HUSBAND-Chalo, tumse Shaadi karke mujhe ek to bahut Fayda hua. WIFE-Koun sa Fayda? HUSBAND-Mujhe mere Gunaho ki saza jeete-jee hi mil gayi.

Bhagt-Hey GOD kya aap meri sharab chhudwa doge? Bhagwan- Kiyon nahi beta? Bhagt-Toh meri 14 Bottles Barnala Police Station me jabt hai woh chhudwa do?

Indian compny got the order for makng 16 condoms frm russians. Employee-sir it is to embaress us. Boss-no problm complete the ordr and mark as small size!;-)"

Q: Why do men pay way more for car insurance? A: Because women can't get blow jobs while driving.