Friendship is (desi version)...

Friendship is not about "I m sorry " its about "abbe teri galti hai "

Friendship is not about "I m there for u " its about "kahan marr gaya saale "

Friendship is not about "I understand " its about "sab teri wajah se hua manhus"

Friendship is not about "I care for u " its about "kamino tumhe chhod ke kahan jaunga "

Friendship is not about "I m happy for ur success "its about "chal party de saale"

Friendship is not about "I love that girl" its about "saalo izzat se dekho tumhari bhabhi hain "

Sex in the dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down....... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device.... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic.
'You impotent bastard,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years?
You better explain yourself!'
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
'I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids.'

Cricket in heaven!

Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys in their mid 80s, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day.
 
Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"
 
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a
deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven and if you die first, you do the same."
 
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.
 
Only a couple of days later, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself, when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav...Sourav !"
 
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
 
"Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.
 
Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So.... is there cricket in heaven?"
 
"Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news."
 
"Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
 
Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven."
 
Ganguly says, "That's great and what news could be bad enough to ruin that ?"
 
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You are going to open the innings this Friday."