I have started to compile the driving rule book that Delhiites abide by. It is a ever growing list and it'll be my pleasure to add to it later. Don't worry, I doubt there is a rule book published by our authorities, so they can thank me later for this hard work ;-)
Action: The light has just turned green
Reaction: Honk
Reason: All the drivers of those 20 cars in front of you are sleeping or have no motivation in the world to go anywhere, so it is your duty to get them going!
Action: A car has approached you from the opposite direction
Reaction: Flash your lights
Reason: The driver in the car opposite you obviously cannot see your car that is at least 6 ft wide and it is your responsibility to alert him of your approaching monstrosity by flashing your lights. Of course, he may miss your car, but he will not miss your flashing lights!
Action: You have just come upon a road that has at least two lanes
Reaction: Do not stay in your lane. At least be hogging 10% of the other lane
Reason: You are paying road tax. Get your money's worth. So what if other's have paid road tax too. It is yours that matters.
Action: You are driving at 80 km/hr and you spot a pedestrian 100 ft away standing on the median
Reaction: Honk like crazy and flash your lights. If possible, stick your head out, aka Ace Ventura, and scream your lungs out too
Reason: That pedestrian is on a suicide mission and he has chosen your car as the weapon of his destruction. While he may not be scared of your speeding car, but your honking and your flashing lights will be a huge deterrent to his mission. If suicide does not occur, for you it is however, mission accomplished... Well.. until you spot the next pedestrian.
Action: You are stuck in a traffic jam and a space of 5-10 ft has just been created in front of the car in front of you
Reaction: Honk and if that fails, flash your lights
Reason: How dare that ninkampoop in front of you not immediately occupy that 10 feet space just created. Has he forgotten we are in an atomic reaction where we have 1 billion elements and it is the responsibility of all these elements to keep moving, colliding etc. Any drastic mistake, like him standing still, could have far reaching repercussions on this mega experiment.
Action: You just got into a fender bender
Reaction: Get out of the car, scream a few obscenities at the other driver, keep a grim look on your face, shake your head violently a few times and then move on
Reason: You as a responsible element of the atomic reaction and have not forgotten that this was "meant to be". You undestand for any atomic reaction to be successful, collisions must take place. So, keep on moving until the next collision.
Action: You have to make a right turn and there are only two lanes
Reaction: Occupy the second lane meant for people going straight, but do keep your turn signal on
Reason: You are paying road tax and how dare the authorities only make one lane for turning right. They are the ones at fault and not you. At least you are being considerate and flashing your turn signal. So what if the person behind you had to go straight and has now missed his green signal. He also should blame the road authorities for their stupidity and not you.
Action: You are stuck behind a car wanting to go right while you want to go straight
Reaction: Honk like crazy, flash your lights. If all else fails, get out of the car and get down to have a meaningful discussion with the car in front hogging the lane
Reason: How dare he. And how dare he blame the authorities. When you do the same it is different. It is because you are "special" and he is not ;-)
Action: You want to turn right and there is a car coming from the opposite direction
Reaction: Make the right without waiting for that car to pass
Reason: You have already watched The Matrix and "There is no car"!
More later!
-Siddharth R
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