Explanation for unity has changed in modern times. . . What did one leg of a woman tell the other? - United we are saved, Divided we are fucked !
What is the height of lying? A negro having a bath and saying ''paani mein jaale mera gora badan''
Long ago Babita & Randhir Kapoor making love.... Babita: Hamare baby ka naam kya hoga? Randhir, while putting on a condom: Iske baawajood ho gaya to Karishma!
Fudduest SMS Of D Year 2007 Girl To Boy-Janeman Tum Mujhe Subah Se Lekar Sham Tak Aur Sham Se Lekar Subah Tak Pyar Karna,Boy-Fir Mein TATTI Kadon Karunga?
A Girl to Sardar: Can you tell me how many Jokes are there on SARDARs??? Sardar: Hardly 2 or max 3, Rest all are TRUE STORIES. . !!! ..
GALIB ne arz kiya- Soch samajh k NA ki shaadi jisne usne jeevan bigad liya, aur Chaturai se ki jisne shadi usne bhi kya ghanta Ukhad liya..
Sex ke baad ladki ladke se boli: Darling Tumhari bansuri bahut choti hai. Ladka bola:Jaan, Mujhe thodi pata tha ke BANQUET HALL mein bajani padegi!!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Bipin's SMS Jokes
Husband (Complaining): You are so unresponsive, do you use cold cream between your legs ? Wife (Taunting): You must be using vanishing cream !!
Q: Whats a birth control pill? A: Its the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to prevent pregnancy.
Ek bus me 32 Marwari ja rahe the, achanak bus me BUM fata 32 k 32 Marwari mar gaye. POSTMORTEM REPORT:- 2 Ki mout BUM fatane se hui baki sab ki GAND fatane se!
TEACHER : Ye batao Hath me kitni Unglia hoti hai? BANTA : Ji 6. TEACHER : Oye Murkh, tujhe kitni baar kaha hai ki CHADDI me Haath dal ke mat Gina kar..!
NEW Mastercard Advertisement- Call Girl: Rs.5,000/- Hotel Room: Rs.2,000/- Condom:Rs.10/- ERECTION..? Dude. . There r Sum things Money just Can't Buy. .!!
In the Morning after her Suhaag Raat, Aishwarya comes to Amitabh, smiles & gifts him a Cadbury Chocolate. Amitabh: Yeh kis liye? Ash: Apka Pappu Paas Ho Gaya!!
Q: Whats a birth control pill? A: Its the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to prevent pregnancy.
Ek bus me 32 Marwari ja rahe the, achanak bus me BUM fata 32 k 32 Marwari mar gaye. POSTMORTEM REPORT:- 2 Ki mout BUM fatane se hui baki sab ki GAND fatane se!
TEACHER : Ye batao Hath me kitni Unglia hoti hai? BANTA : Ji 6. TEACHER : Oye Murkh, tujhe kitni baar kaha hai ki CHADDI me Haath dal ke mat Gina kar..!
NEW Mastercard Advertisement- Call Girl: Rs.5,000/- Hotel Room: Rs.2,000/- Condom:Rs.10/- ERECTION..? Dude. . There r Sum things Money just Can't Buy. .!!
In the Morning after her Suhaag Raat, Aishwarya comes to Amitabh, smiles & gifts him a Cadbury Chocolate. Amitabh: Yeh kis liye? Ash: Apka Pappu Paas Ho Gaya!!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Bipin's SMS Jokes
A wise old Botanist pointed out that penis is the only thing that has to be grown before it is planted.
Survey -Women who sleep on their sides r Sensitive, who sleep on their stomach r Competent, who sleep on their back with Legs in the air are MOST POPULAR!!
Ek randikhane mein achanak raid padi. Police sabhi randiyon ko line se khada kiya. Usi waqt ek buddhiya wahan se guzar rahi thi. Usne ek ladki se poochha kya hua? Ladki boli: Aam baant rahein hain!" Amma bhi line mein aa gayi. Jab uski baari aayi policewala poochha: "Kya amma? Tum bhi?" Amma: "Beta buzurg hoon toh kya? Choos toh sakti hoon!""
Don't take things in wrong sense When: >Dr. says take off ur clothes. >dentist says open wide. >interior decorator says once its in u'll love it. >bankeDubai number Sonu 00971 5 04244198 also if farah wants to call kundan jewr over can call him here my mom wil be here knows him too our landline is 26r says if u take out soon u'll loose interest. >telephone guy says wud u like it on table or against d wall...485799 also can use driuer
Great People Like Us Work On The Principle Of Rockets, Not That We Aim For The Skies, But We Dont Start Performing Unless Our Arse Is On Fire. ;-)
Why do women wear underwear? ...................................................... Because State law says all manholes must be covered, when not in use!
Mallika Sherawat ne baba Ramdev ji se pucha ke me nahate samay kya lagaun ki mera yauvan surakshit rahe? Baba ne kaha- CHITKANI !
Survey -Women who sleep on their sides r Sensitive, who sleep on their stomach r Competent, who sleep on their back with Legs in the air are MOST POPULAR!!
Ek randikhane mein achanak raid padi. Police sabhi randiyon ko line se khada kiya. Usi waqt ek buddhiya wahan se guzar rahi thi. Usne ek ladki se poochha kya hua? Ladki boli: Aam baant rahein hain!" Amma bhi line mein aa gayi. Jab uski baari aayi policewala poochha: "Kya amma? Tum bhi?" Amma: "Beta buzurg hoon toh kya? Choos toh sakti hoon!""
Don't take things in wrong sense When: >Dr. says take off ur clothes. >dentist says open wide. >interior decorator says once its in u'll love it. >bankeDubai number Sonu 00971 5 04244198 also if farah wants to call kundan jewr over can call him here my mom wil be here knows him too our landline is 26r says if u take out soon u'll loose interest. >telephone guy says wud u like it on table or against d wall...485799 also can use driuer
Great People Like Us Work On The Principle Of Rockets, Not That We Aim For The Skies, But We Dont Start Performing Unless Our Arse Is On Fire. ;-)
Why do women wear underwear? ...................................................... Because State law says all manholes must be covered, when not in use!
Mallika Sherawat ne baba Ramdev ji se pucha ke me nahate samay kya lagaun ki mera yauvan surakshit rahe? Baba ne kaha- CHITKANI !
Friday, September 28, 2007
Bipin's SMS Jokes
Man finds magic lamp, rubs it and a genie appears Make a wish my lord" MAN: "Make my PENIS touch the ground". Genie smiled and cut both his legs!"
American says:Indians r backwrd in sex technology.Angry Indian started shaking his body. American:Why r y u shaking?Indian-I'm fucking my wife thru bluetooth !
Man went to Gb road. Pimp ne whores k nam Cars k nam pe rakhay thay. Bola, Konsi chahiye?" Honda 5000 Corolla 4000 Baleno 2000 beetel 100 Man ordred beetel & was shocked to C a 'HIJRRA. Ye kia hai? Sir beetel ka engine peechay hota hai na"
How do you make your wife scream after orgasm? Well, wipe your dick with curtain !!
Santa was driving with girlfriend to Chandigarh. He puts his hand on girlfriends knee. She smiles & says: u can go further. So santa drives to shimla!
The saddest part of a Man's body are his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to :- - - - HANG TILL DEATH""
Joke of the Century: Teacher asked Sardar If U dial 001 then what will happen?" Sardar: "Police Jeep will come in Reverse Gear.!"..."
Sardarni: I am pregnant.. Sardar:Main to ek saal se England me tha! Sardarni:Aapka photo tha na ji! Sardar:Jhoot mat bol,photo to kamar tak hi tha...
American says:Indians r backwrd in sex technology.Angry Indian started shaking his body. American:Why r y u shaking?Indian-I'm fucking my wife thru bluetooth !
Man went to Gb road. Pimp ne whores k nam Cars k nam pe rakhay thay. Bola, Konsi chahiye?" Honda 5000 Corolla 4000 Baleno 2000 beetel 100 Man ordred beetel & was shocked to C a 'HIJRRA. Ye kia hai? Sir beetel ka engine peechay hota hai na"
How do you make your wife scream after orgasm? Well, wipe your dick with curtain !!
Santa was driving with girlfriend to Chandigarh. He puts his hand on girlfriends knee. She smiles & says: u can go further. So santa drives to shimla!
The saddest part of a Man's body are his Balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to :- - - - HANG TILL DEATH""
Joke of the Century: Teacher asked Sardar If U dial 001 then what will happen?" Sardar: "Police Jeep will come in Reverse Gear.!"..."
Sardarni: I am pregnant.. Sardar:Main to ek saal se England me tha! Sardarni:Aapka photo tha na ji! Sardar:Jhoot mat bol,photo to kamar tak hi tha...
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Bipin's SMS Jokes
If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. So be careful
THOUGHT OF THE DAY- Women always need a reason 2 have sex... whereas Men r not like that... They just need a place...
If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. So be careful
Height of confidence. Once ten boys decided to propose a girl. Nine boys came with rose, but one boy came with a condom. . That's confidence.....!
Two sardars in US eating Hotdog for the first time. Sardar1 opens the bread, looks inside, feels embarassed n asks Sardar 2, Which part of the dog did u get""
A scientist developd a bra that stops womans boobs bouncing while running or nipples showing when wet. DONT PANIC- WE HV KILLED THE BASTARD
Why are Vegetarian women silent during sex.?" That's because they are in a state of Shock that a piece of meat can give so much pleasure."
Old Man kneeling by bed. Wife says What are you prayin for?" Husbnd says "guidance". Wife says "pray for stiffnes and i'll guide it myself"."
THOUGHT OF THE DAY- Women always need a reason 2 have sex... whereas Men r not like that... They just need a place...
If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. So be careful
Height of confidence. Once ten boys decided to propose a girl. Nine boys came with rose, but one boy came with a condom. . That's confidence.....!
Two sardars in US eating Hotdog for the first time. Sardar1 opens the bread, looks inside, feels embarassed n asks Sardar 2, Which part of the dog did u get""
A scientist developd a bra that stops womans boobs bouncing while running or nipples showing when wet. DONT PANIC- WE HV KILLED THE BASTARD
Why are Vegetarian women silent during sex.?" That's because they are in a state of Shock that a piece of meat can give so much pleasure."
Old Man kneeling by bed. Wife says What are you prayin for?" Husbnd says "guidance". Wife says "pray for stiffnes and i'll guide it myself"."
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Bipin's SMS Jokes
joke of the week:- Sardar1:-I spoke to Sania Mirza yesterday on the phone. Sardar2:- Thats great. What did she say? Sardar1:- Wrong number.
Life is a little chutiyapanti & we r all chutiyas, when we find sumone whose chutiyagiri is at par wid ours, we fall into mutual gandmasti & call it Friendship!
Aadmi bade mood me waiter se: Waiter ek sexy si chai pilao..,Waiter replies:Hamare yahaan Bhains ka doodh aata he,Malaika sherawat ka nahi.
Why do most women sleep in the afternoon? So that they can screw the tired man all night and blame him for poor performance..
Arz kiya hai- Rajwade me ud rahe the ghode, Rajwade me ud rahe the ghode, Dhyan se kya padh raha hai LAUDE" kabhi dekhe hai udte huve ghode.."
The Liberated Woman of Today walks in Prada, wears Gucci, keeps time with a Cartier, drives a Merc And thinks that Cooking and Fucking are two cities in China!
This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 35. Can you believe it ? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees , and putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast , dont they ?
A sardar prays for 2 hrs daily hey VaheGuru mere lottery lagade." After 11 yrs VaheGuru angrily appears n says."Abe Sardar 1 bar ticket to le..!""
Corporate concept : Ultimate way2get relief fm stressClose ur eyes Take a long Breath Settle down just relax...then say MAA CHUDAAO...""
Life is a little chutiyapanti & we r all chutiyas, when we find sumone whose chutiyagiri is at par wid ours, we fall into mutual gandmasti & call it Friendship!
Aadmi bade mood me waiter se: Waiter ek sexy si chai pilao..,Waiter replies:Hamare yahaan Bhains ka doodh aata he,Malaika sherawat ka nahi.
Why do most women sleep in the afternoon? So that they can screw the tired man all night and blame him for poor performance..
Arz kiya hai- Rajwade me ud rahe the ghode, Rajwade me ud rahe the ghode, Dhyan se kya padh raha hai LAUDE" kabhi dekhe hai udte huve ghode.."
The Liberated Woman of Today walks in Prada, wears Gucci, keeps time with a Cartier, drives a Merc And thinks that Cooking and Fucking are two cities in China!
This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 35. Can you believe it ? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees , and putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast , dont they ?
A sardar prays for 2 hrs daily hey VaheGuru mere lottery lagade." After 11 yrs VaheGuru angrily appears n says."Abe Sardar 1 bar ticket to le..!""
Corporate concept : Ultimate way2get relief fm stressClose ur eyes Take a long Breath Settle down just relax...then say MAA CHUDAAO...""
Friday, June 29, 2007
Bipin's SMS Jokes
Before u judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, . . . . who cares? He's a mile away & the shoes r urs.. Bhaj la mitra navi juti mil gai..
NEW AIDS C0NTR0L SL0GAN: Try different positions with the same woman, Instead of trying the same position with different women
HUSBAND TO WIFE- I was not yawning the whole time that you were talking. I was trying to say something!
7 Stages in a womans life: 1) Infant 2) Baby 3) Miss 4) Young Woman 5) Young Woman.. 6) Young Woman.. 7) Young Woman.. She nvr grows beyond this..
Who is a diplomat? A diplomat is 1who forgets2 wish his girlfriend on her bday &later tells her How do u expect me2 remembr ur bday wen u nevr luk any older?""
Newton's law of sex : every soul has a hole or a pole. When the pole goes into a hole, comes out a new soul, either with a pole or a hole.
R u free now..? I want 2 talk 2 you. Reply or cal if u can... Santa sent this message to customer care.!!.
Today a fone without wire is fashion. One day will cm when human without brain will be a fashion. ..... .. On that day, my friend, u will rock....
JIS TARAH 1 MACHHAR KO MARNE SE TUM SHIKARI NAHI BAN JAOGE,THEEK USI TARHA 2-4 SMS KARNE SE TUM BHIKHARI NAHI BAN JAOGE.
Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped ? A : Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open
Moods of a woman: An angel of truth & a dream of fiction,she's afraid of a wasp, wil scream at mouse; but wil tackle a stranger alone in d house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose; She'll kiss u one minute, then turn up her nose. She'll win u in rage, enchant u in silk; She'll b stronger dan brandy, milder dan milk. At times she'll b vengeful, merry n sad; She'll hate u like poison & love u like mad. Moods of a man: Hungry Horny Sleepy!
When do two people become friend's ..? When their dialogue i'll pay the bill" converts to " Mera bhi dede yaar..."!"
Saturday noon an Old man wid a Sexy Girl entered a Jewelery shop n chose a Ring worth 2 lacs for d Girl. Givin d Cheque he said he'd collect d Ring on Monday after d Cheque's cleared. Monday Jeweller called up d old man- There's no Money in ur Account! Old Man- I know, but can u imagine d Weekend I had !
Banta joins army, given AK 47. Puzzled, he asks Major, Sir! Ye bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?" Major: "kisi bhi taraf rakho faida desh ka hi hai.""
Q: Why are old men in nursing homes given Viagra? A: So they don't roll out of bed.
Sardars always study in front of a mirror bcoz 1) it helps in saving on revision time later! 2) he can keep a watch on himself! 3) he likes combined studies!
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Indian Govt. has decided to publish the photo of Mallika Sherawat on a postal stamp. The male population is now confused which side to lick
Q: What's the difference between a wife and a hippopotamus? A: One has a big mouth & a fat ass and the other one lives somewhere in Africa.
NEW AIDS C0NTR0L SL0GAN: Try different positions with the same woman, Instead of trying the same position with different women
HUSBAND TO WIFE- I was not yawning the whole time that you were talking. I was trying to say something!
7 Stages in a womans life: 1) Infant 2) Baby 3) Miss 4) Young Woman 5) Young Woman.. 6) Young Woman.. 7) Young Woman.. She nvr grows beyond this..
Who is a diplomat? A diplomat is 1who forgets2 wish his girlfriend on her bday &later tells her How do u expect me2 remembr ur bday wen u nevr luk any older?""
Newton's law of sex : every soul has a hole or a pole. When the pole goes into a hole, comes out a new soul, either with a pole or a hole.
R u free now..? I want 2 talk 2 you. Reply or cal if u can... Santa sent this message to customer care.!!.
Today a fone without wire is fashion. One day will cm when human without brain will be a fashion. ..... .. On that day, my friend, u will rock....
JIS TARAH 1 MACHHAR KO MARNE SE TUM SHIKARI NAHI BAN JAOGE,THEEK USI TARHA 2-4 SMS KARNE SE TUM BHIKHARI NAHI BAN JAOGE.
Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped ? A : Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open
Moods of a woman: An angel of truth & a dream of fiction,she's afraid of a wasp, wil scream at mouse; but wil tackle a stranger alone in d house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose; She'll kiss u one minute, then turn up her nose. She'll win u in rage, enchant u in silk; She'll b stronger dan brandy, milder dan milk. At times she'll b vengeful, merry n sad; She'll hate u like poison & love u like mad. Moods of a man: Hungry Horny Sleepy!
When do two people become friend's ..? When their dialogue i'll pay the bill" converts to " Mera bhi dede yaar..."!"
Saturday noon an Old man wid a Sexy Girl entered a Jewelery shop n chose a Ring worth 2 lacs for d Girl. Givin d Cheque he said he'd collect d Ring on Monday after d Cheque's cleared. Monday Jeweller called up d old man- There's no Money in ur Account! Old Man- I know, but can u imagine d Weekend I had !
Banta joins army, given AK 47. Puzzled, he asks Major, Sir! Ye bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?" Major: "kisi bhi taraf rakho faida desh ka hi hai.""
Q: Why are old men in nursing homes given Viagra? A: So they don't roll out of bed.
Sardars always study in front of a mirror bcoz 1) it helps in saving on revision time later! 2) he can keep a watch on himself! 3) he likes combined studies!
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Indian Govt. has decided to publish the photo of Mallika Sherawat on a postal stamp. The male population is now confused which side to lick
Q: What's the difference between a wife and a hippopotamus? A: One has a big mouth & a fat ass and the other one lives somewhere in Africa.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Bipin's SMS Jokes
Try this Its fun Think a number b/w 1-9 Now +5 *2 -3 *5 +8 Write no. on paper Now fold that paper and shv it up ur ass Fun chaiye salo ko....
Wife:OUCh! zara dhire karo Rajdhani kyo chala rahe ho Maalgadi chalao itne me Beta bed se gira aur bola jo marzi chalao MADARCHODO par savari ko to mat girao..
Ek sardar sukhe khet me boat chala raha tha 2nd sardar 'aise sardaro ne hi sardaro ka naam kharab kiya hai'agar mujhe swimming aati to jakar use 2 thapad marta.
:How do u differentiate between a cow & a bull ?Try milking both of them...The one that smiles is the Bull !
Evry woman shud hav 4 pets in her life. A mink in her closet,a jaguar in her garage,a tiger in her bed n a jackass who pays for evrythng.
Q: Whats the similarity between walking on the edge of Mt. Everest n getting a blowjob from an 85 year old woman? A: Whatever d thrill, dont look down!
Q: Whats the definition of a complete an utter business failure ? A: A pregnant prostitute .
Life is like the Kamasutra! No matter what position you're in, you still get screwed !!
Ques: Why is bad government like a bikini ? Ans:B'coz people marvel at wats holding it up. And they wish it would fall !
Oye sunn. . . . Chal chhod...!
Nun goes to mother superior & confesses Last night I enjoyed d pleasures of d flesh Father told me I had the gates of heaven between my legs He said that he had the key to heaven, and he put it in the gates Bastard! Cries the Mother "For years he told it was Gabriel's Trumpet and I have been blowing it."
Man: Can I have sex with my pregnant wife? Dr: 3 mths normal, Next 3 like dog & Last 3 like wolf. Man: How does a wolf do it? Dr: Sleep near the hole and howl!
Wife:OUCh! zara dhire karo Rajdhani kyo chala rahe ho Maalgadi chalao itne me Beta bed se gira aur bola jo marzi chalao MADARCHODO par savari ko to mat girao..
Ek sardar sukhe khet me boat chala raha tha 2nd sardar 'aise sardaro ne hi sardaro ka naam kharab kiya hai'agar mujhe swimming aati to jakar use 2 thapad marta.
:How do u differentiate between a cow & a bull ?Try milking both of them...The one that smiles is the Bull !
Evry woman shud hav 4 pets in her life. A mink in her closet,a jaguar in her garage,a tiger in her bed n a jackass who pays for evrythng.
Q: Whats the similarity between walking on the edge of Mt. Everest n getting a blowjob from an 85 year old woman? A: Whatever d thrill, dont look down!
Q: Whats the definition of a complete an utter business failure ? A: A pregnant prostitute .
Life is like the Kamasutra! No matter what position you're in, you still get screwed !!
Ques: Why is bad government like a bikini ? Ans:B'coz people marvel at wats holding it up. And they wish it would fall !
Oye sunn. . . . Chal chhod...!
Nun goes to mother superior & confesses Last night I enjoyed d pleasures of d flesh Father told me I had the gates of heaven between my legs He said that he had the key to heaven, and he put it in the gates Bastard! Cries the Mother "For years he told it was Gabriel's Trumpet and I have been blowing it."
Man: Can I have sex with my pregnant wife? Dr: 3 mths normal, Next 3 like dog & Last 3 like wolf. Man: How does a wolf do it? Dr: Sleep near the hole and howl!
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